Marriage before your brain is fully developed, so before 25, can be a mistake. However, length of dating, financial and emotional stability, along with  trust and loyalty, matter just as much. I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for five years. They recently got engaged at the age of 20. Their plan is to buy a home and not get married until 25, setting them as a couple of ten years. Comparatively, if you get married at 18 to someone you have been with for one year, there may be a greater chance of failure. 

I have witnessed multiple cases of this in my family, they either get married at 19 and it fails or it winds up unhappy, and someone, if not both parties, feel trapped. At the approximate age of 25, your prefrontal cortex fully develops, meaning it is easier to make better decisions. Additionally, most young adults now at 25 either experience stress financially, mentally, living or career-wise. Being a young adult does not equal stability. However, my young friend had been in a relationship for two years and was planning on buying a house and getting married before 22. It did not work out, but it was because she wanted to be a “young” mom. That is a common and rational desire. 

Additionally, she is a nurse and her boyfriend is a police officer. With stable income, kids and marriage have a right to be on the table. The reason for marriage should be intentional, thought over, and planned out, especially if you are going to tie the knot young. Wilkinson and Finkbeiner, a family law firm, wrote that in the U.S. there are 230 marriages an hour, alongside 86 divorces every hour. According to Sexual Health Australia, around 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that an affair has occurred sometime in their marriage and it suggests that 70% of all marriages experience an affair.  Also, according to a survey from Surrey Live, 72% of men and 54% of women regret getting married. 

In most, if not all marriages I have seen, there has been a case of a husband calling his wife “the old ball and chain” and complaining about her nagging or lack of support. It is disrespectful and harmful rhetoric within society, particularly older generations. The wives in most cases usually complain about his “bad habits” like lack of organization or too much time spent on video games. In some cultures today, particularly in my Italian culture, wives also serve as wife-mommy and their husbands become another child to take care of for them, not their partner. Before marriage, in general, there should be clear boundaries and agreements in regards to lifestyle, money and children. 

Furthermore, marriage can be a good thing if both parties have similar work ethics and see life through similar eyes. We cannot judge anyone for their decisions, but we as people and family members and friends can help each other get out of bad situations. Marriage counseling and individual therapy can be great to grow separately and together, especially within such a large commitment.

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