Disney’s cumbersome family of live action remakes has a new member in “Pinocchio.” However, this film is far from a dream come true and does not leave much hope for future remakes

The 1940 “Pinocchio,” inspired by the 1883 children’s novel, tells the story of a lonely woodworker named Geppeto whose wish for his wooden puppet Pinocchio to come to life is granted by the Blue Fairy. In order for Pinnochio to become a real boy, he must prove himself brave, truthful and unselfish. He faces many formidable foes on his journey to learn right from wrong, such as a whale named Monstro, a manipulative fox, and the secret terrors of Pleasure Island. Pinocchio is helped along the way by Jiminy Cricket, a wanderer who ends up being dubbed Pinocchio’s conscience by The Blue Fairy.

With a slew of new characters as uninteresting as the changes to the story itself, “Pinocchio” does little to improve on the original film. The CGI effects range from terrible to unbearable, making Pinocchio seem more painted than likely intended. The environment is also extremely over-saturated at some points. These are big signs that this movie should have been left animated. Tom Hanks feels simply out of place in the film with his performance as Gepetto. He graces us with not only an awkward accent, but two new songs filled with eye roll-inducing lyrics. Another big issue with the film is the modern day references. Whether it be the Chris Pine reference, or the Disney references through the clocks that span Geppetto’s wall, they all feel like they do not belong.

Luckily the film is not completely awful. Joseph-Gordon Levitt (“500 Days Of Summer”)is unrecognizable as Jiminy Cricket, even if the original wit and charm is lacking as a result of the writing. Keegan-Michael Key (“Shmigadoon!”)  also puts on a decent performance as Honest John. There is also a surprise performance from Luke Evans as The Coachman. The new song for this character is bearable because of Evans’ fascinating voice. Cynthia Erivo (“Harriet”) provides her always welcome voice for The Blue Fairy, but her character is noticeably less impactful than in the original. Overall, the movie just leaves less of an impression than its predecessor, and takes out the purpose of the story being a warning for children. One of the lyrics in the new songs is quite literally “Pinocchio, Pinocchio, holy smoke-io!” Need anything else be said?

Image from Walt Disney Studos via YouTube