Content Warning: Mental health, depression, mention of suicide, mention of self-harm, mention of disordered eating.

My thoughts are scattered and I am at a loss for words. What is happening? Why are we losing so many college athletes? How can I help? How can I make a difference within my team, my department, my community? How can I make sure my friends know they are loved? These are the questions I’ve asked myself on repeat for months. Until recently I felt hopeless; I had no idea how I was supposed to help. I thought to myself, “You can’t save the world,” “You can’t let others’ problems become your own.” “You have enough going on in your own life, fix that first.” While all of these thoughts might have been true, they did not sit well with me. A pit in my stomach remained and a hole burned in my heart. My thoughts quickly shifted, becoming more personal: “What about your teammates, your coach, your family?” “What if it’s too late? What if you lose your best friend and you could’ve helped?” I was reminded how quickly the narrative can change when it becomes personal. It was during these thoughts I came to the realization that I have to speak up. I refuse to continue in silence wondering if my words could help others. I refuse to not say anything and let the narrative become personal for so many others.

While I may not have the power nor the platform to change the world, I do have a voice. I write this piece to let athletes know that we have a voice and that we must speak up. I write this piece to let each and every one of you know that you are loved. You are heard. You are seen. You are valued. You are normal. You are human. You are more than your sport. You are not alone. The struggles you face today, both mental and physical, are not forever; there are people who care for you and are willing to help.

As athletes, we need help. We may act tough, put on our game face, or push through injuries, but we simply need help. Being a student-athlete is beyond stressful. Many of us have our days filled from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Between lifts, classes, practices, games, individual sessions, and homework, we sometimes forget to eat. Our mental stability slowly dwindles and oftentimes we do not realize until it is too late. For years we are lulled into the busy schedule that we have come to recognize as a normal daily routine. With 17 hours of constant action, constant thinking, we shift from one important session to the next, we forget to live life. A lot of student-athletes, when given free time, will tell you they don’t know what to do with it. They may even purposefully schedule something else in its place to avoid downtime. 

This takes a toll on our mental health and well-being. We struggle and sometimes don’t know the habits we have created are harmful. Other times, we recognize our need for help but are too afraid to ask for it. The stigma surrounding mental health is very negatively focused, but why? Everyone says to go get help, but nobody wants to. Words such as ‘weak’, ‘attention seeking’, ‘strange’, or ‘broken’ are used to describe those who seek help. Instead, words such as ‘smart’, ‘brave’, ‘reasonable’, or ‘strong’ should be used. In any other aspect of life, when someone recognizes an issue, whether it be personal or not, they are congratulated for solving it. Why then, is seeking help for a mental health struggle such a big deal? The answer, the gloom that surrounds it. Someone should not be punished for helping themselves.

Let’s look at it from a different perspective. In a team sport such as soccer, if a teammate is unable to steal the ball, the next teammate steps up to defend. In baseball or softball, if the pitcher gives up a hit, an outfielder catches the ball for an out. In basketball, if the point guard misses a shot, the center is there to grab the rebound. In an individual sport, if the runner misses a time, the coach is there to provide instruction and encouragement. If the diver makes a splash upon entry, the coach and teammates are there to help.

 However, we must be there for each other outside of our sport too. If a teammate is struggling with eating, we should help them grab a meal. If they are struggling with a class, offer assistance or suggest a tutor. If a teammate asks for help regarding their mental health, help them. By listening to them, being a shoulder to cry on, and pointing them to the appropriate professionals you could be saving their life. It is on all of us to make sure our teammates are okay with asking for and receiving the help.

College athletes face unique pressures. Unless you have been involved with college athletics, the intensity and individual strive for success is not one that you will have witnessed. We go about our day battling the constant pursuit of perfection. One mistake during a game ruins what you’ve dreamed of all day, all season, your entire life. One mistake flattens the dreams of your teammates, your best friends. One mistake in the classroom can cost eligibility. One incorrect test question leaves you watching from the sidelines. One mistake in your relationship can leave you without the support you need most. One mistake can leave you feeling alone. Our internal obsession with excellence can lead us to isolation. We equate flawlessness to being good enough, and when we are not perfect, our self esteem crashes. Thoughts of failure spiral around our heads and we wonder if underperforming is the new normal. Afraid to admit failure, we self-shame and force ourselves to do better. We try to take on our battles alone. Afraid to make another mistake, we shut down. Instead of asking for help, we fail to help ourselves. After all, we see that one mistake makes for a great headline, while many successes go unnoticed.

Again, we need to recognize the significance of mental health and speak up. We need to understand that our struggles do not have to push us into isolation. If every battle was meant to be fought alone, there would be no need for teammates or coaches. We must normalize asking for help; there is no shame in it. A quote I heard a few years ago that has helped me understand the importance of mental health is as follows: 

If you have a broken bone you would go get a cast so it could heal. Why is it then that when our brain needs healing, we are afraid to take steps to help it mend? Why are we afraid to get our brain a ‘cast’?

It is time that we end the shame surrounding mental health. There is no indignity in speaking to a professional. There is no shame in asking your teammates or coach for help. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you are struggling. You are not alone, I promise. Your feelings are not random; they are valid, and you are valid. No matter how big or small you think your troubles are, they are real, and I encourage you to ask for help. 

Just as one does not purposefully break their arm, one does not purposefully choose to struggle with mental health. Punishing yourself or your teammates for matters that may be out of your control is foolish. As athletes, we have to understand that we do not have complete control and that perfection is a vision, not a reality. We are allowed to have bad days, weeks, seasons, and even years. We are human. We are worthy of happiness. We are allowed to fail. We will succeed. We have support. We are enough. 

There is so much more to us than what appears on the field, court, pool, course, mat, gym, ice, track, etc. We are more than just a game. We have personality, grit, determination, and sadness; we have feelings. We are allowed to experience all feelings, both happy and unhappy. We must celebrate the triumphs of our teammates and empathize with their hardships. 

As athletes, we are called upon to be catalysts for change. The time has come when we can no longer sit back, as so many of us share the same struggles. We are capable of helping each other. We will not settle and have a lot more to say in order to make sure we are all taken care of. We have come a long way, but have such a long way to go.

I pray that this message inspires you to share your story. I pray that it gives you the strength to heal, inspires you to help others, gives you the courage to ask for help, and lets our voices be heard. While we may not have the power to change the world alone, together we do. Athlete by athlete, team by team, we have the power. It is time we acknowledge our need for mental stability, and normalize the utilization of helpful resources. 

In a world where darkness seems unending, let us be the light that outshines. Speak with your coaches, athletic trainers, and fellow athletes to figure out how to help students within your athletics department. We are in this together, and together we will make the difference.

National Resources Available:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline: (800) 662-4357

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Image via Oswego State Athletics