By John Custodio

As discussed in an opinion article by Annika Wickham, it has been established in previous arguments that SUNY Oswego is horrendous with communicating to students about parking, and their parking lots are atrocious. However, an even greater horror of the modern college driver exists: commuter parking.

According to “SUNY Oswego Parking Guide and Campus Map,” there are five commuter parking lots directly on campus, with two near Laker Hall with a shuttle service. In reality, there are three major lots that I will refer to as “Hewitt,” “Shineman” and “Sheldon,” as the commuter lot near Rich Hall has 20 spots on a good day and the secondary lot by Hewitt is tiny. 

Hewitt is far and away the worst lot on earth. It is far from any academic building and built diagonally to the Lanigan quad, forcing students to cross the faculty parking lot in front of Culkin Hall. After the dangerous traverse, travelers are greeted not by warmth and beauty but a brutalist windtunnel, struggling in vain next to the vile Tyler Hall. Despite being the art building on campus and adorned with beautiful murals and mosaics, the harsh cement brutalist architecture serves as a reminder that this campus does not want you to win in your struggle to get to class. There is something on the western half of campus that just begs the wanderer to return home, return to bed, return to sleep and return to peace. It all begins with the Hewitt lot, setting the journeyman up for failure. 

As Odysseus set sail after he sacked Troy expecting a peaceful voyage, I expect a pleasant trip to the Shineman lot to attend class. Instead, I am the wanderer harried for years on end much like the king of Ithaca, seeing my destination but having it untimely ripped from my grasp. The Shineman lot is a nightmare, especially in winter when spots are taken up by plow machinery and snowbanks. Arriving for a morning class early does nothing as the spots are already filled by even earlier travelers. The best course is to simply watch people go to their cars and wait as a fanged cat does by a watering hole before pouncing. Even then, people have no respect for the ancient rule of “dibs,” attempting to snatch spots like jackals. If you are in luck, you are rewarded with the best lot possible in winter, with easy access to indoor corridors instead of walking outside.

However, should you fail you are cast into a hell deeper than Tartarus: the Sheldon lot. Every late attempt at Shineman risks a rough return to Sheldon and more time wasted if in a rush. The walk to the major halls from Sheldon is the true Odyssey, especially if it is in the winter. Even worse is the return as you see classmates joyously reunited with their mechanical steeds as you must slog along your “via dolorosa.” This walk is your cross to bear for that leisurely stroll from your house to your car, or the stop at Dunkin or the moment to connect your aux cord. For those like myself who may be forced to park at Sheldon at 10 a.m. and not return to their cars until 10 p.m., there is no greater demoralizer in the dark. Luckily, I am a tall white man so I feel no true fear, but I cannot imagine how others may feel as they are forced to walk the darkened, windy streets of Oswego to safety. 

An honest solution would be to swap the lots for commuters and on-campus residents. While some students working off-campus or athletes might use their cars regularly, they still pale in comparison to legitimate commuters. You can walk the extra five minutes once a week to go to Five Points or Walmart if I have to do it multiple times a day. 

In conclusion, Marco Polo or Sinbad have nothing on the average SUNY Oswego commuter. Fix the lots.

Photo via Flickr