It was just sitting there, right on his chest.
“By the grace of God are we delivered.”
Staring at me with those terrible eyes. Those oily, ugly, terrible eyes.
“For he watches us and consoles us in our grief.”
Not making a sound. It didn’t need to. I was watching all the same. It never shifted on its feet, never shrugged or swayed or even blinked. But its lips. Its lips did move.
“The God spoken of all those thousands of years ago stands with us now, at this very moment. He is felt in every tear and every sigh of sorrow.”
I didn’t need to look to know that nobody else could see it. At least, if they could, they were pretending they couldn’t. They all looked ahead, eyes bloody red from overreacting.
“On this day, he brings a new child home to his eternal grace.”
Maybe it was because he was my brother.
“So sorry for what you’re going through.”
I’m sure you are. Sorry enough to trade places? Let me go to your house? Sleep in your bed? And you’ll stay here with that-
“He was such a creative boy. He always had ideas.”
You have no idea.
“He was gone too soon.”
When would have been better for you?
“The father, the son-”
That thing kept looking at me. It hated me. I could feel it like you feel the cold eating at the most delicate parts of your hands, like a bug in your shirt trying to tunnel under your skin with its mouth.
“Ashes to ashes and-”
I wasn’t able to stomach the thought of putting him under there, under all that dirt. Suffocating and mealy and rife with worms. He wasn’t a bad person.
“He’s in a better place.”
He’s in the ground.
“I remember when he said-”
He never did. You’re lying and we both know it.
“It was strange, I-”
He would only say something like that to me.
“He loved you all so much.”
Maybe the ground was better. The ground wasn’t here. That thing was here.
“Are you going to be alright?”
What was it saying, when its lips moved so softly?
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
What secret was it sharing?
“Are you sure?”
Why won’t it repeat itself?
“Are you sure?”
Why won’t it leave?
Graphic by Patrick Higgins | The Oswegonian
