College years are a busy and defining period of our lives. We learn more about ourselves in the four-year span than our whole lives before. The one thing that is seemingly the trickiest to figure out during this crucial period of life is dating.
The dating scene takes a variety of forms, from serious relationships to one night stands. Although a historically taboo concept, traditional dating has been predominantly taken over by hookup culture, which ranges from one night stands to “friends with benefits.” It is not all that surprising that we have adopted this hookup culture, taking into account parties and the “I just want to have fun” lifestyles of many college kids. Hookup culture is built on the idea that casual sex is a fun and important aspect to life, especially for the college age group. Often time casual sex is between two friends who agree to a “no strings attached” relationship where they hookup when they feel like it. “No strings attached” means neither person has romantic feelings and it will not turn into a serious relationship. Hookup culture essentially is a relationship without the commitment. The question from many though is, is it actually a fun lifestyle?
The problem with this question is that most seem to pin hookup culture against having a serious relationship in college. These are two very different lifestyles; having a serious relationship is fun for some, whereas others may be avidly against serious relationships. The two cannot be compared when it comes to defining what “fun” is to college kids. Not all college kids are attracted to the idea of having casual sex as opposed to one committed partner, and vice versa. Hookup culture is certainly fun to those who simply want the pleasure of sex but do not want to be tied down yet. If you have not found someone with whom you want to be committed, a relationship would be as meaningless as the sex that is had with casual sex. A few decades ago, casual sex was strongly frowned upon and criticized; now, it is almost expected.
Casual sex can be dangerous. If you agree to casual, no-strings-attached sex and are having one night stands, you are absolutely prone to STDs. An obvious way to avoid this is to use protection every time- with your partner.
While it may be a social norm, casual sex is a lifestyle based on unhealthy, dangerous concepts. Hookup culture is based around the desire to “just have fun,” but it stems from a lack of ability to commit. Wanting to have fun is an understandable thing in college, but having a regular no strings-attached relationship is ultimately harmful and dangerous. The very idea that you can be uncommitted but regularly sleeping together is contradictory. You are still committed to the casual sex agreement upheld between you and your “partner.” “No strings attached” is a dangerous promise when two people are regularly having sex, especially two friends.
Knowing someone as just a friend and knowing someone intimately are two different forms of relationship. Merging the two together is where it gets messy and dangerous. When you are in a committed relationship, you know your partner both as a friend and intimately. Trying to have a casual sex relationship with a friend and keeping the two separate is a very difficult trade and one that will likely not work out. Friends with benefits and casual sex relationships have the same aspects of committed relationships without the promise of commitment. This a dangerous lifestyle as one of the people in such agreements inevitably ends up hurting, having caught real feelings along the way. You are less likely to be hurt in a committed relationship and even less likely to catch an unwanted disease.
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