The amount of women I have met that do not know what their private areas look like is staggering. I’ve had friends who simply feel “afraid” to look at what’s down there and how it works. Sounds ridiculous? Well, this points to a bigger issue. How many of us actually take the time to know our physical self? An even smaller number of us are aware of what makes us tick internally.

Knowledge about oneself is directly linked to success in all the different areas of life. You’ve heard the phrase, “If you don’t love yourself, no one will.” I am a firm believer that the only way to really love yourself is to know and sometimes discover (through safe experimentation) all the quirks that make you, you. This knowledge about yourself leads to better decision making in not only personal relationships but career goals as well.

Let’s go back to my friend, the one who has never taken a close look at her intimate areas. Completely unaware of the way that part of her body works, she has unrealistic expectations of what sex is supposed to be like. She finds herself constantly disappointed because, along with her partner, she cannot achieve an orgasm. Her partner does not know how to pleasure her, and the worst thing is, she doesn’t either. She doesn’t even know what it looks like!

An awareness of oneself is, of course, not limited to a successful sex life. It’s highly important that, as individuals, we understand why we like and dislike things, people and situations. It’s as simple as being able to explain why you hated a movie and as challenging as choosing a career based on your personality traits. I can probably lecture for an hour on why I hated “The Counselor” (it’s loaded with Latino stereotypes) and also understand that I’ve been successful in costumer service jobs because I am good with words. Over the years, I’ve come to observe that I am an introvert who needs to take a few timeouts from crowded areas and talkative people. I’ve witnessed a lot of my peers in uncomfortable situations because they surround themselves with people that they are not compatible with or have chosen a major that does not suit them.

How many of your friends have majors that are clearly not for them? Whether their family or the desire for “easy” money influences it, there are a lot of people out there working jobs that they hate and not understanding why it makes them miserable. There are an innumerable number of options for everything in life but it’s up to you to figure out which one works for you. Sure, your friends all like to run as a way to stay in shape, but you hate it. The solution isn’t to become a couch potato; try boxing or yoga instead. Take some charge over the choices that make you happy and bring you pleasure.

After you’ve formed an idea of who you are, don’t forget that change is constant and absolutely beautiful. Go back a few years on your Facebook timeline or your tweets and you will see the changes and evolutions in your thoughts and surroundings. Analyze how those changes came about and the positive effect they might have had. If the effects are negative, well, it’s time to de-clutter      and detoxify.

It is your job to know yourself. Very few people will have the patience to decipher the puzzles that make up a person. Start by exploring.