Q: My girlfriend really loves Halloween. This is the first Halloween we’ll be dating and her costume is a little skimpy. What do I say as her boyfriend?

-Signed the Superman for his Supergirl.

A: This is rough position you got yourself in, bud. Girl costumes for Halloween usually include showing a lot of skin, so that’s already something you’ve got going against you. The fact that it’s very likely that most of your girlfriend’s friends are going to be dressed up as a sexy version of something doesn’t really help you either. If the main reason you don’t want her to wear her costume is because you’re going to be jealous of the looks she’ll receive, I’m sorry to tell you, but there isn’t much to do. Your girlfriend is her own person and it’s completely up to her to choose her costume. On the other hand, if you’re trying to save your girlfriend from looking trashy, plead your case. There’s nothing worse than the person who’s wearing a costume that makes them look like they’re solely looking for attention. Keep in mind, no matter what she wears, she’s only got eyes for you.

Q: Two of my friends are throwing parties on the same night for Halloween, what do I do?!

-Signed the Village Drunk

A: When a friend throws a party they expect nothing but attendance so this is a toughy. The first thing to do is don’t panic because we’re getting through this. Now that you’ve calmed down, do your research. It’s imperative you find out which party has the bigger guest list and which one starts later. The party that starts later just has to be where you go last. You’ve got more time to use pre-gaming as an excuse and everyone knows fashionably late is the way to go. It’s important to go to that party full of guests first, because you’ve got to show face and show off that costume. Lastly, call a cab for speed.