Before there was man, there was wheat. In the evolution of human society, we have an innate desire—no—need to eat macaroni. The importance of this staple food has kept impoverished humans alive for millennia. Pasta is the food of the people. Something that can be used fresh or dry and still maintain the same tummy satisfaction is a rare commodity in this world. We, as a people, should feel indebted to this great food product, also known as noodles.

Now, where would that wonderful wheat durum product be without an accompaniment of some kind? Are we to believe that bland boiling water is all it takes to stimulate the complex and unique taste possibilities of macaroni? Of course not. We create the best life source for this magical gluten-rich product with the use of the tears of the heartiest, most full-bodied and flavorful people. During the bi-annual Moaning Macaroni Meetings, tears are produced from the rawest and hungriest bellies of starving people all over the world. This naturally-flavored H2O comes from his people.

Once the majestic macaroni is placed into the steel volcano, Mount Massimo, the saltiness of the tears enters the pores of the pasta. He is brought to life. He arises. Wild angel hair flows in the mighty sky. His orecchiette are small but they are hearty. He is able to hear the tiniest concerns from all of his people.

To be continued..