Frito-Lay’s newest flavor of Dorito chip hit the shelves Tuesday. My appreciation of Doritos dates far back, far enough back that I grew up on Nacho Cheesier and Cooler Ranch Doritos, rather than the more grammatically sound, but not nearly as intense Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch Doritos of today. The old chips never made sense to me even as a child. I would ask my mother if they had a less cheesy version, since these chips were apparently cheesier than another chip. A slightly warmer ranch? I still don’t know.
In a way, these original two are back yet again, but in this case, in the form of Doritos Locos Taco chips. That’s right. Chips that taste like a taco that is supposed to taste like the original chip that these chips will taste like. Whoa, meta. Confused? Me too. Chip to taco, back to chip, with plenty of advertising dollars and hungry consumers fueling its journey along this strange path.
It is impossible not to draw a parallel to the recent creation of the Words with Friends board game. The popular online social game provided a way for users to play what was essentially Scrabble—one of my favorite board games—without the need for players to physically be present at the same place and the same time, as the original board game, and all board games for that matter, require.
So now take out all the perks that made the game different and resell a home edition to play with your family!
Guess what, that already exists and it’s called Scrabble.
So stop reading your novel edition of Mortal Kombat, turn off your DVD copy of the film version of Tomb Raider and realize something: simply put, it makes no sense.
Maybe I am just bitter about this ludicrous idea. Ever since Doritos discontinued its 3-D Doritos line of products, the world has not been the same. And in its place comes this? Something I can’t imagine to be very much different to the original product the adapted product was based off, which was then spun off again to create this? It’s a vicious cycle of repetition.
I am not saying they will taste bad. They will taste like either Nacho Cheese(ier) or Cool(er) Ranch, along with a taco-flavored element as well. As if I did not get enough of the textureless, perhaps beefless, and certainly not authentic tasting taco meat product at the restaurant itself, I now have an opportunity to have it in a chip. Each bag will contain half of the original flavor and the other half a “Crunchy Taco” flavor. Put them together for an instant Mexican-ish feast. But if the chips are accurate to the proportions of the crunchy taco, I imagine it will taste mostly of shredded lettuce.