There is a severe problem here at Oswego State. I know I’m not the first person to comment on the condition of the bathrooms here, but I can definitely say I’m one of the angriest to write about it. I honestly can’t take it anymore.

Every student who lives on campus knows what I’m talking about. The bathroom conditions make you want to question the future of civilization. Toilets are never flushed. The floors are covered with liquid that you pray to God is just water. There’s puke on the floor. The sinks are covered with hair. During my freshman year I lived in Cayuga Hall, and someone in my building got in trouble for smearing fecal matter on the walls. It’s especially bad on the weekends. You wake up on a Sunday morning to take a shower and it feels like you’re walking through a war zone. You almost want to tie a rope from your door around your waist in case you have trouble making it back.

Very few things surprise me anymore, but I continue to be shocked by these conditions. But the worst part is that there’s not much we can do about it. Unless we put cameras in the bathrooms, it’s close to impossible to punish people. But let’s say theoretically we could catch these people. Here’s how I would punish people who misuse bathrooms if I were in charge.

The number one problem with the bathrooms is unflushed toilets. This is one of the first things we learn in life: when you’re done with the toilet you flush it right? Well apparently some people didn’t receive that message. If I was in charge, I would hand out fines to anyone caught not flushing a toilet. First fine would be $50. Second fine would be $100 and the third would be a semester-long suspension. I know that sounds extreme even in a theoretical context, but if you can’t remember to flush the toilet every time, you’re obviously a pathetic excuse for a human being who doesn’t belong in college. Unless you’re three years old, there is absolutely no excuse.

Next, there are the people who throw up on the floor. Instead of making the janitors (who deserve hazard pay for this stuff) clean it up, you should do it yourself. When you’re living on your own, no janitor is coming over. Unless you have the flu, you should be cleaning up after yourself. If you don’t want to do that, learn how to hold your alcohol, or have better aim. Otherwise, I have no sympathy.

The third major problem isn’t with the people who use the bathrooms, but the bathrooms themselves. I can’t believe that in 2010, we still don’t have anything to dry our hands with in the bathrooms themselves. There needs to be a blow dryer or a paper towel dispenser. That’s something our tuition money needs to be invested in.

As I said, a lot of people have railed against the bathrooms on-campus, but there’s a very good reason for that. We’re civilized people and there is absolutely no excuse why the bathrooms should be misused like they are. A lot of people share these bathrooms, so people need to show some common courtesy and make sure they clean up after themselves and flush the toilets. It’s sad that people even need to be told this stuff. People need to start acting like college students and not children.